A Core Concept of Meaningful Healing: "What You Resist, Persists."

Whatever you are feeling has a right to be. It belongs.

So much of Family Constellation healing work revolves around the simple understanding that every member of a family inherently belongs. And the moment this is violated like when a family member is ostracized or otherwise shunned, it creates a rift in the family. What’s surprising is that this rift actually continues to affect future generations in a variety of ways.

I’ve written about this idea in the context of family and ancestry many times but here’s what I haven’t shared with you: The energy of a family system moves identically to the energy of your emotional and physiological systems.

What that means is that when we ostracize or otherwise resist a feeling or emotion, it sticks around and continues affecting us. Allowing for feelings and giving them permission to be as they are (just like people), is what allows them to move towards existing in a healthier harmony.

Applying this to our emotions is counterintuitive to most of us, but it ’s actually a major key to creating healing movements in our lives.

If you are struggling with a tough feeling, mental health issues like anxiety or depression, or even a physical challenge, try this and see if it starts a shift in your body and mind:

Close your eyes and connect with how your body feels.

Locate where in your body you feel the emotion or issue most.

Bring your awareness to that location in your body and learn a little more about the shape, texture or movement of it in your body.

Then say this to the feeling, either aloud or in your mind: “I honor your right to be here, you belong”

Then take a minute to honor it and give it permission to be. You can honor the feeling by watching it and giving it space with no agenda to change it, just like you would a child. Then just watch what happens.

This all comes back to that clever rhyme “what we resist, persists”

Give your feelings full permission to be, then watch how they change.

Nick Werber